As I sit here at my kitchen table crying, I have just submitted my resignation letter to my employer that I have been with for the past 13 years. Never in my life would I have thought that at 36 years old, I would no longer be able to work. This disease has taken so much from me over the past 4 years and yes, I am down right angry about it today. I’m angry, sad, hurt, confused, and jealous of those that are completely healthy. I had to go to the hospital yesterday and have lab work done because I have felt like absolute crap the past several weeks. And for those that don’t know, I had gastric bypass December 12, 2016 and have lost a total of 114 pounds thus far. To me, that’s wayyyyyyy too much weight for me to loose. My goal was to get to 150 and I am down to 112 pounds. I’m scared yall.
So now that I limit myself to being in the public with all this flu mess going around, I have started to gather recipes for baking. I use to make and decorate cakes on the side and can no longer do that either because of this darn disease. BUT, I’m not letting this disease take my love for baking! I have decided to make cupcakes now. They don’t take long to bake, are very easy to decorate, and I can come up with my own flavors. I have to find something to do that makes me happy.
I have enjoyed this blogging journey so far. I find peace when I can write about how I feel about certain things and how I wish more people understood that just because a disability isn’t visible on the outside, doesn’t always mean anything. I guess now it’s time to focus on me, and how to survive with this disease and all the crap that comes with it. I won’t let the devil win this battle! Not today Satan!